Unit Testing

I am missing a way to write unit tests for web applications. I found a few options online, but they aren't really along the lines of what I'm looking for. I want to be able to describe unit and regression tests with respect to expected or unexpected DOM fragments, make requests, fill and post forms, check the results and run the whole test suite automatically as a cron job or before committing. I want the whole test suite to be described in XML so that writing web-level tests doesn't require programming, and so that it can go into Subversion along with the project code.

I think I will have to write this myself. In fact it's something I've been really wanting for years. But I'm way too busy at the moment to do it.